Of acceptance and being yourself

As a part of my ongoing love for writing and venting my feelings, I begin my story. My stories are really simple, it’s about hardships and my denials. It is linear and yet the emotions that strike me does not feel as linear as the after thoughts of my stories would make me feel.  I am a simple girl, simple in most ways but my imagination and thus, I do not have any extraordinary tale to speak about. The only thing that makes me bearable is that my problems are like anybody else’s, so here is to sharing the same problems and knowing that we are not alone.

The primary need of any individual or even animal and let’s macro-scope it-organisms, is acceptance. Animals go rogue if they are secluded for too long, human behave differently. They just fall prey to depression. Now, why is that important to my story? Because four months back when I had finished with all my desire to live on my father’s money, and only after completing my ‘Post-Graduation’, I decided to take luck on my hand and walk towards a road that most of the youngsters has trodden. I walked away from my hometown and came to Bangalore. As luck would have it, I got through a very renowned company and expected life to take a turn- for good.

Life did turn, now I get paid, I live on my own and I have a pretty amazing work place. So, I expected that every inch of my being has now paid off the debt of being too happy for too long and now I won’t be punished for having too much fun at a certain point in my life (more about that later), but, such was not the case. I am far from being accepted, I am far from having to let my guards down. Although, I never let my guards down.

Here is the thing, on a regular basis I would have to come face to face with people who would have a different opinion of me than most of my nearest and dearest ones. Let’s just say that their perception has tainted that of the others and now I somehow feel that everybody around me is willing to ostracise me, at the first chance they get. How? Let’s just say that 10 people walk into an ice-cream parlour and the first one to get an ice-cream orders for the regular chocolate chips and vanilla, the other one goes for the eccentric choice in the menu and ends up having mixed feelings about it. Now, the manager of the ice-cream parlour walks in and somehow manages to praise the chocolate chip and vanilla guy and turns to the eccentric choice one and says, you could have taken the chocolate chip and vanilla and instead of the black-current you should have taken the Chocolate sauce. Thus, the entire crowd of 8, including the one with the ‘wise’ choice ends up thinking that eccentricity should not be appreciated. So, yes, that is the case with me at this point. Also, let me point it out that I am kind of famished and in dire need of some good food, which I will not order until my roommate literally drags me out of the room.

The person whom I am speaking about probably has no clue that that person’s opinion is actually influencing others and is probably affecting me. The person involved is probably even oblivious to how the individual is hurting my reputation and how everything around me is going on a downward spiral, but I know and I can feel it in every waking moment of my being. To take the over-dramatic side of my brain down by a notch, I still think I will be able to survive this outrageous pour of an ignorant rage of a particular human being. That being said, I have to tackle such out pours in a manner that will no longer encourage any such tumultuous occurrence in my life. Thus, I am really sorry ignorant human being, but I will be going head on with my problems and against you. It will not be a war, but it will be more like that sticky, icky incident that you could have avoided had you been a little more careful.

Love. Insanity. And Outrage.

 

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