Have you ever felt like you are trying to speak under water? Only, you can hear yourself and there’s bubble everywhere, your voice has been drowned by all the paranoia? I feel just like that.
The nagging, self loathing side of me has fetched a war with the optimistic instinct that I am trying to hold on to. I fear that tomorrow, the optimistic instinct will get defeated and the void will take over. The void, that I have avoided for ages. Remember when I said that these blogs will and are my cry for help, well it is.
How do I make the voices to calm down? How can I make everything alright? How do I make this stop? The only answer I have is- to live a little everyday. To make it work. So, if I accomplish to drink a little water without spilling it, tomorrow, I will win.
Dear human being who has pushed me into the corner, you are not a bad person. You are just a little impatient. I do not intend on winning you over, but I intend on being the bigger person. I will let go of my fear of you and I will win the masochistic battle I have dragged upon myself. Until then, I just need to survive and little by little I will gather all the pieces of me and make a whole.
Love. Insanity. And Survival.