Of angst and anxiety 

Have you ever felt like you are trying to speak under water? Only, you can hear yourself and there’s bubble everywhere, your voice has been drowned by all the paranoia? I feel just like that. 

The nagging, self loathing side of me has fetched a war with the optimistic instinct that I am trying to hold on to. I fear that tomorrow, the optimistic instinct will get defeated and the void will take over. The void, that I have avoided for ages. Remember when I said that these blogs will and are my cry for help, well it is. 

How do I make the voices to calm down? How can I make everything alright? How do I make this stop? The only answer I have is- to live a little everyday. To make it work. So, if I accomplish to drink a little water without spilling it, tomorrow, I will win. 

Dear human being who has pushed me into the corner, you are not a bad person. You are just a little impatient. I do not intend on winning you over, but I intend on being the bigger person. I will let go of my fear of you and I will win the masochistic battle I have dragged upon myself. Until then, I just need to survive and little by little I will gather all the pieces of me and make a whole. 

Love. Insanity. And Survival. 


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